A Hero's Reward
by KatieBrowne
Summary: Alternate ending to "Knockout" where Castle takes the fall for Beckett. First FanFic so let me know what you think!
1. Chapter 1

As he watched her standing at the podium delivering a heart filled speech about her mentor and friend, Richard Castle was filled with a sense of pride. This woman who he had come to know over the last three years never ceased to impress and inspire him. Only days after loosing her Captain and she was still able to hold it together and give a speech in front of hundreds.

He was just admiring how even in a uniform, Kate Beckett was still stunningly beautiful, when he saw it.

A flicker of light coming from far off in the distance, somewhere in between a row of tombstones. It only lasted for a second, but that was long enough for Castle to recognize what it was.

As he dove in front of Beckett simultaneously tackling her to the ground he felt a quick punch in his upper back.

When they landed on the ground the look of horror in her face was undeniable. Castle couldn't understand why she was so afraid. It wasn't until he tried to sit up that he realized. A long sharp pain was spreading from his back near his shoulder blades.

In the distance he could hear Alexis screaming and Esposito yelling and all he wanted to do was to tell them that he was fine but he felt paralyzed. It was as if the world was in slow motion and only he was in real time.

He felt Beckett's soft gloved hands around his face and began to feel tired. Almost like he was over-tired and in need of a nap.

But he didn't want to sleep. Richard Castle had written far to many death scenes to know that you never go to sleep.

So he grabbed Beckett's hand in one quick move move that was so excruciating it nearly knocked him out completely, but he held strong.

As they locked gazes he felt the pull to unconsciousness become unbearable.

She must have noticed it too because Beckett began to plead with him through her tears, "No! Rick stay with me, please!"

He was trying so hard but it just wasn't enough. Just as he felt the blackness take over he heard the four words that he had been praying to hear in from her beautiful voice for so long,

"I love you Rick."

And then he was gone.

The ride from Cypress Hill to the Hospital was quite possibly the longest 15 minutes of Katherine Beckett's life. Next of course only to the day she found out her mother had died. However this time she felt different in almost every way possible. When she learned of her mother's death she lost all contact with her body and sank into a depressed paralyzed haze.

But siting in an Ambulance watching as paramedics ran wires and tubes in and around a man who had become so much more than her partner, Kate Beckett felt as if every neuron in her body were alive. Adrenaline was coursing through her body causing her legs to shake.

After her mother died Beckett swore to herself that she would never let her emotions take control of her again, but none of that was on her mind as she sat hunched over holding onto the hand of Richard Castle as though it might fall off were she to let go for even a second. She was no longer crying and switched to being focused on the task at hand: making sure that Richard Castle survived.

Somehow unbeknownst to Kate the media had already arrived at the hospital and started swarming the ambulance as they entered the driveway of Forest Hill Hospital. For the split second that they were stopped due to photographers Beckett contemplated jumping out the back of the ambulance and arresting every one of them.

But that second ended and they moved and the next thing she knew they were getting out of the ambulance and Castle was being wheeled through the front doors into the waiting arms of a surgical team.

This kind of situation drove her mad. For someone who needed to control the situation, being in a place like this where everything was completely out of her hands left Beckett feeling helpless and alone.

She didn't realize how long she had been standing there until Martha came up behind her and put her arm around her.

"We got here as quickly as we could but there was so much traffic I…" Her shaky voice trailed off.

"I know. I know" Was all Beckett could say.

When Alexis came in looking flustered with tears on her face Beckett could tell she just needed some support, so she walked straight over to the girl and held her.

Helping to keep Alexis strong was what she needed to do right now. If for no other reason then it kept her occupied.

Within minutes the waiting room had filled with the 12th Precinct family, everyone just as in shock as Beckett.

Not a word was spoken, because there were none to be said.

Everyone just sat quietly in silence waiting to hear something from the doctor.

An hour passed.

Then another.

After they had all been sitting there for 4 hours a doctor walked out of the restricted area towards them with a completely unreadable expression on his face. This itself was an impressive feat because they are all homicide detectives who pride themselves on reading expressions.

"I'm looking for Kate." Dr. Poker-Face said to the group.

Beckett gently transferred a sleeping Alexis to Martha's shoulder and was on her feet and inches away from the doctor within seconds.

"Yes." She replied quizzically and subconsciously held her breath as she awaited his reply.


	2. Chapter 2: Now We Wait

_Note: Wow! can't believe the reaction i've had so far! Thanks! Loving this so far! So here is Chapter 2! Enjoy!_

The slight pause the doctor took before answering felt like a lifetime to Kate Beckett.

She was so desperately trying to read his expressions or just get a glimpse of anything he was thinking.

"There were some unexpected complications during surgery …" the doctor said adding another pause.

This is it she thought. She had been so optimistic up until this point but the harsh realization that Castle could die at any moment crushed her like a rock. She was just about to break down when the doctor added,

"But luckily our surgical team was able to get everything under control. We removed the bullet without any major harm done. Somehow it managed to miss any vital organs and bones. He should consider himself very lucky."

With this Beckett did loose it, but her tears were not of sadness. All of the worry and stress that had been building over the last 4 hours was finally released.

She gathered herself, took a breath and after drying her tear stained face, the little makeup she had put on that morning now long gone, she turned to meet the frightened faces of her family.

She laughed internally thinking how awful her reaction must've looked to the people who couldn't hear what the doctor had said.

As an uncontrollable grin crossed her face she said, "he is going to be ok."

With this everyone jumped up and began to hug each other, Martha and Alexis both engulfed in the same joyful crying session that Beckett herself just experienced.

Realizing that the doctor was still standing behind her, Beckett turned around to thank him and ask when she might see Castle.

Before she was able to speak he said,

"The reason I came to you was because he hasn't stopped mumbling "Kate" for the past 20 minutes. I don't know how he is doing this because most patients don't come around for at least a few hours after surgery, but he is definitely one of the strongest patients I've ever had."

We usually don't allow people who aren't family into the recovery room but I have a feeling that he could use you right now. The surgery went well but the next few hours are critical."

That was all the invitation that Beckett needed.

"Yes" was all she said, and with that she turned around, grabbed Martha and Alexis, filled them in on the news and followed the doctor up to Castle's room.

The room had an eerie sense about it. Perhaps it was because Castle managed to be in a room and not fill it with conversation she laughed to herself.

Castle.

This was a way that Beckett had never hoped to see him. A knot was beginning to form in her stomach as she looked at the hospital bed with a man that she truly did love lying so peacefully, and yet so frighteningly.

He was lying on his back so she couldn't see his scar, but he had heart monitors, IV's as well as oxygen tubes on his body. Not to mention he looked sickly pale and had bags under his eyes.

"You stupid, heroic bastard. Why couldn't it be me here?" she whispered as she grabbed his hand.

Almost as if he knew what she had done he mumbled "Kate" in that tone that she had come to know so well.

"I'm right here Castle. I'm not going anywhere," she said as she pulled up a chair as close as she could possibly get to his bed.

Alexis, who had been hovering by the door, walked to her father's bed on the same side as the Detective, and brushed her father's hair out of his face, whispering she loved him, and kissing him on the forehead.

"He is lucky to have someone like you," Beckett said to the girl as she squeezed her arm.

The first genuine smile of the day appeared on Alexis's face as she replied, "I could say the same to you."

After Martha had kissed her son, her and Alexis decided to go home for the night, it had gotten late and they were both mentally and physically drained from the day. Alexis had, of course, promised to come back the next morning and made sure that Beckett would update her throughout the night before they left.

And then they were alone.

She hadn't realized how tired she had gotten until just then but that didn't matter to Kate. There was no way she was going to leave Castle, not when her needed her the most.

The "Kate" mumblings every few minutes were an uplifting reminder that Castle was strong and was going to make it.

She hadn't even realized that she had fallen asleep until she felt a slight squeeze on her hand.

She had been resting her head in arms, which were wrapped around Castle's hand, but when she felt the tug she jumped up, completely awake and looked up at Castle.

His serine expression had changed and was now almost like a concentration face.

"Kate…" he mumbled

"Yes Castle, I'm right here." She replied. "I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

Castle could feel himself starting to drift into consciousness. He wasn't sure of where he was, but at this point he wasn't sure of very much. All he knew was that he needed Beckett. Trying to get a grasp on his surroundings, but much too weak to open his eyes, he used his other senses. There was a loud steady beeping. This he knew, was must be a heart monitor. This together with the sterile smell meant he was in a Hospital.

Feeling someone holding his hand, he used all of his available strength to squeeze it. It was soft, but not the youthful soft of Alexis's hand. No, this hand was stronger. Like the person to whom it belonged had experienced more, used the hand for more.

The closer he got to consciousness the more he began to understand. He had jumped in front of Beckett and taken a bullet at Montgomery's funeral.

Kate.

Was she ok? He wondered.

"Kate" he said out loud this time, trying to pull himself from this state of limbo.

It was then that he heard her voice saying she was there.

"Good" he thought, she must be ok if she is here with me.

With that he fell back to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3: Her Thoughts

**_Sorry this took so long! I have been so swamped lately I have had no time to write! Enjoy!**_

It was another 2 hours before Richard Castle woke up completely, and in that time, Kate Beckett did not leave his side. She thought about it once, about an hour after the first time he woke up. He had been sleeping quite soundly and hadn't ushered a word, well not just _a _word, her name, in a while and she was so thirsty she contemplated calling a nurse in just to ask for some water.

However as soon as she let go of his hand to stand up, Castle began to mumble her name again and a look appeared on his face that for some reason caused Kate great pain. She wasn't sure why, but for some reason the look of him so scared and in agony hurt her in ways she hadn't felt before.

So without any other thought she sat, grabbed his hand with both of hers and whispered that she wasn't going anywhere.

She stayed exactly where she was for the next hour until she noticed that his hair had fallen across his forehead.

Kate smiled when she saw his hair like this, remembering all of the times over the course of their relationship he had messed up his hair. She would never admit to him how completely adorable it was, but that didn't mean she didn't think it every single time.

As she gently brushed his hair away from his forehead, Beckett saw Castle's eyes flutter open ever so slightly.

She sat up, wondering- no- hoping, that maybe he was going to wake up and be okay.

The doctor said that he didn't think there would be any brain damage, but these situations are all unique.

Kate didn't buy for one second that he had brain damage, not only had he been saying her name for the last few hours, but most importantly there was no way that Richard Castle would allow something like that to happen to him. He loved himself way too much.

That being said, even the most optimistic of people do occasionally have a fleeting moment of doubt.

As his eyes slowly opened, blinking often trying to focus, Kate peered into them like somehow her eye contact could wake him up faster. It was then that she truly realized how amazingly beautiful his eyes were. Obviously she had noticed the vibrant cobalt of his irises the day they had met, but there was something different now. It wasn't just that the colour was beautiful, but there was so much depth and personality to his eyes. It pained her that what was usually filled with laughter or occasionally passion was now so empty and confused, until he locked eyes with Beckett.

She held her breath in her throat awaiting his first move, whilst they stared into each other's eyes.

What felt like a millennia, but was actually only perhaps half of a second passed and all at once the love and personality returned to his as he recognized her.

"Kate!" he exclaimed as his whole face lit up. This time her name was not mumbled or accidental, but rather had the full force of Richard Castle behind it.

She really did love it when he called her Kate. Maybe it was because he saved it for rare occasions, but she knew the real reason. After her mother died she stopped going by Kate. She joined the Police Academy and became "Beckett". She didn't usually let people call her Kate because it had been what her mother had always called her, but there was something so right about hearing it come from his mouth. Most of the time she felt as though her first name actually was Beckett and that Kate was some foreign title that didn't belong to her.

But hearing it come from Richard Castle, a man who put so much force into her name, like she owned it, and no one else in the world laid claim to that name gave her butterflies.

"Yes Castle I'm here. I'm not going anywhere." She replied as her eyes began to well up with tears. Any other circumstance and she would have turned away and not let anyone see the tears that were threatening to fall, but for the first time in the longest time she could remember she didn't care. She was so happy and thankful that he was okay that she would let her tears do whatever the hell they wanted.

_*Okay so this is a shorter chapter and I wanted to keep going but I liked that ending too much. The next will be longer I promise! _

_Ps. Sorry for posting this so late, I just couldn't wait to get it out to the world!_

_Pps. It seems like every FanFic I read has a disclaimer about not owning Castle so as obvious as it is, I feel as though I should mention that I don't own Castle. If I did, well this would be an episode, not a fan fiction. Hence "fan". Kthxbye! *_


	4. Chapter 4: Choices

_*Okay so to make up for my last tiny chapter here is a nice long one! I think this is the best yet so hold onto your hats! Also, loving all of the alert-ers and reviews! So encouraging!*_

Teetering on the edge of consciousness, Richard Castle felt awful. He was hungry and nauseous at the same time. His back was killing him, he felt lightheaded, which he thought was interesting because he was obviously lying down, and he really just wanted to go home.

Lying in this hospital bed, all he wanted was to see Beckett because in this drugged up haze, all he knew was that somehow she could make it better.

Which is why when she brushed his hair out of his face, in the kind way a mother would, he realized that he needed to get out of this semi-awake limbo he had been stuck in for the past little while. So he gathered up his strength and opened his eyes. He felt like he was wading through sludge with every action.

Was this what people on drugs felt like every day? Why would anyone do this to themselves! He thought.

Trying to get his body to cooperate with his mind he focused on Beckett. Staring at her with what must've been a look of complete oblivion, three seconds must have passed before his brain started working properly. When it did his face lit up like a kid at Christmas time.

When he looked into the eyes of Kate Beckett he instantly forgot all about the pain and the discomfort he had been feeling.

The warmth that she was sending him filled his soul and shrouded him with more love than any woman had ever made him feel.

It was then that Beckett began to cry

Castle was very heavily drugged so he didn't understand what was wrong.

He lifted what felt like an extremely heavy arm to her face and began wiping away the tears that were rolling from her beautiful green eyes.

"Don't cry." He slurred. Realizing how completely high he sounded he blinked several times and tried to adjust himself to sit up. He had only moved about half an inch when he felt a searing pain in his back. Wincing heavily and shouting what ended up sounding like "faaaaackkkkkkkkk" he retreated to his earlier position.

"Wadareyou doin' Castle? Stop moving, do you want water or something? Hold on I'll go grab you some water" Said Kate as she stroked the side of his face hoping to calm him down.

He had just wiped her wet cheeks, with a sad expression on his face, she guessed that he was still pretty loopy due to the medications. Her premonitions were assured when he tried to tell her not to cry with a slurred voice. He must've realized it as well because he tried to adjust himself and before she was able to stop him he put pressure on his back.

However as soon as she tried to leave he squeezed her hand with more force than she thought he could possibly have had and said, "no...please". This was less slurred than his last attempt at speech, so she figured that he must be coming out of his haze.

"Okay. Don't worry I'm here. I'll just page a nurse to check on you now that you're awake and she can adjust you if you'd like."

Castle did not like the idea of her leaving him one bit. He had worked so hard just to see her, and the thought of being without her for even one second scared him deeply.

As he grabbed her hand he realized how much more of his strength he had regained. Excellent, he thought, the sooner these drugs wear off the better!

She must have recognized the look in his face when he asked her not to leave because she stopped and sat right back down. For this he was extremely grateful in more ways than he could express.

"Thank you" he said, finally with enough of his sanity back to sound like himself.

"Always." She replied and then smiled that simple, yet astoundingly beautiful smile that she always did when she said the 6 little letters that had come to represent their relationship.

Hearing her say this brought back memories of everything they had been through over the past 3 years and reminded Castle of all of the times he had chosen to stay quiet or been to afraid to say how he felt to Beckett.

Well everything was different now. He could have died, he almost did die, and he had never even told her how he felt. Well things were going to be different from now on. No more living in fear. So without any planning or practice (which never happened) he dove in.

"I love you Kate." He said as though it were a fact, and not an admission. "I always have, and it is ridiculous that it has taken me almost dying to realize it but you need to know. You need to know that I think you are the most beautiful, inspiring and talented woman I have ever met, and there is no way I could die without having spent my life with you, because without you there would be no point to life at all."

Kate was in awe. When the doctor said that Castle was the strongest patient he had ever had he was not kidding. He had only been awake for 10 minutes and was already back to almost his old self. Almost. Something about him was different. They say that when you go through a traumatic life event you usually end up with fervency for life and boy were they right.

When Kate had told him that she loved him as he was slipping towards unconsciousness she meant it. She meant it more than she ever had towards any other person in her life. She had fallen in love with him some time ago but she wasn't really sure when. It seemed one day his little quips were causing her nothing but annoyance and the next day they were all that kept her going. Katherine Beckett kept her heart under lock and key, and had been perfectly content with it, until she met Richard Castle. Somehow he had managed to find a way in. She had wanted to tell him how she felt so badly, but the thing with having a heavily guarded heart is that trust does not come easily. She was so afraid of getting hurt that she stalled. At first using excuses like he wasn't dependable or he is only in it for sex, but even she couldn't be fooled by her lies. She had even tried to tell him once, but she waited too long and missed her chance. However when she saw him take a bullet for her, put his own life in serious danger just to protect her, she realized how seriously wrong she had been about waiting for the perfect moment. Life isn't like one of his books. There really is no perfect moment for two people, and if you try to wait for one, well you will wait a long time and just might miss your chance.

She sat frozen in complete shock as she reveled in what he had just said. It was quite possibly the most beautiful thing she had ever heard, and was by far the most amazing thing anyone had ever said to her. Hearing those words come out of his mouth completely vanquished any fear she had be harboring about his true feelings or intentions.

A solid 30 seconds had passed and she still hadn't said a word, and Richard Castle was starting to worry. He usually planned what he was going to say, instead of just rolling with it, but he truly felt everything he had said and it was now up to her. He knew that she loved him back because she had said so at the cemetery, but he was just worried that she would hide or run away because she was afraid.

Suddenly she broke free from her statuesque pose and a smile so big and warm that it made Castle's whole body tingle engulfed her face. She leaned in quickly, but not so much so as though to hurt him and kissed him.

Every neuron in his body was alive and crazy as they kissed. There was more passion than he ever thought possible in this simple kiss. It was as if every emotion he had been feeling over the past 3 years was exploding all at once.

With one hand still holding hers, he reached up with his other and gently touched her cheek. His arm feeling significantly more like his own than the last time he touched her face, he held her there. Exactly where she needed to be.

_***Swoon**_


End file.
